Have you ever wondered what constitutes happiness? What makes people happy, I mean truly delirious, belly aching, eye-brimming happiness?
Well, this is what’s been occupying my thoughts for some time now. (And has ironically, made me decidedly unhappy)
Ok, suppose you’re an ordinary person; not rich, not poor, not fat, nor skinny- just middling, picture Goldilocks’ dream scenario. Yet, you’re still restless and dissatisfied. This is where I’m at right about now.
I’ve been playing the dangerous ‘if only’ game lately:
If only…I could find the love of my life.
If only…I’d studied something else.
If only…I took that gap year.
If only…I lived overseas.
You get the gist. (don’t try this game, is incredibly unsettling- don’t say I didn’t warn you)
The weird thing is that I know exactly what my problem is- I’m living in the past and the future but not in the present, case in point: “It’s almost Friday- yay!” then Friday comes round and low and behold, I’m not magically transferred to fabulous party with my pick of gorgeous eligible bachelors, nope, instead I get: It’s Friday, whoo fucken hoo.
But my main problem is perfectly articulated by the following Nietzsche quote: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
Hence the commencement of my blog, not that blogging gives me a life purpose, but it does distract me a little, and at this point a distraction from myself is as good as creme brule.